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So sit back and relax as we present the following alphabetical list of Miami's best places to see buck-naked women.

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We'll not soon forget the erstwhile King of Diamondsand don't bother scrolling down for the too-ritzy-for-consideration E11evenwhich steadfastly identifies itself as "a hour ultraclub. If it's a Latin flavor you seek for your after-hours entertainment, steer your Lyft driver to Hialeah, where you'll find Bellas Cabaret, which guarantees a memorable night out for residents and tourists alike.

The dancers at Bellas are known for their friendliness — and if your party arrives hungry for foodyou can even order a round of croquetas for the table.

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The Pepto-pink edifice practically purrs for an Instagram selfie; even if you've never set foot inside, the exterior sticks out like a pink thumb. The interior is equally memorable: There are ladies everywhere.

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Be sure to arrive with a fat wad of cash: The clientele isn't shy about making it rain during dances, which are often accompanied by a live band and DJ. Spending a weeknight at the Foxxy Lady beats going home after work. The cabaret offers the dual experience of a strip club and a sports bar, allowing you to keep tabs on the game and watch asses shake at the same time.

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Oh, and the Lady prides herself on her full-friction VIP rooms. G5ive Miami is the place to be Tuesday nights and very early Wednesday mornings. The club resides in the heart of North Miami Beach and is a favorite among locals.

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Expect to be greeted by a constant rotation of shot girls and dancers urging you to burn through your savings. The dancers at G5ive have perfected the art of twerking. Nude lap dance, anyone? If you're looking to keep things classy but don't want to fritter away Junior's college fund on a girl who introduces herself as Desire, Gold Rush is a fine option. The place bills itself as a "proper" cabaret, but that doesn't mean you won't see nude women on display.

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Dance-floor fiends, take note: Gold Rush is a combination strip club and nightclub, so you can squeeze in a lap dance or two between dance dances. Perched on Biscayne Boulevard at NE 77th Street, the club pumps reggaeton and hip-hop sounds, which means high-energy entertainment is always on tap. The dancers here know what they're doing, so expect expertise on stage and pole alike.

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Here, the happy hour commences at noon, which makes it supereasy to stop in for a drink special and lap dance-fueled lunch break. Hip-hop reigns supreme here no matter the time of day, so there's always a soundtrack conducive to tossing dollar bills.

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The dancers and waitresses at the Office make you feel right at home, and the lemon-pepper wings are worth an extra tip. Who says New York is the city that never sleeps?

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Miami strip clubs don't give a damn if you have to work the next day. Infamous for holding the hood down, One is a preferred option for weekend-averse party people.

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Your job can wait. A newcomer to the local strip-club circuit, Shadow Cabaret has quickly made a name for itself. This late-night Hialeah hang stays open till 5 a. Plus, the Shadow has already made national headlines for hosting a golf tournament at Donald Trump's resort in Doral. At Tootsie's Cabaret, you might be lucky enough to spot Miami-strip-club enthusiast Drake enjoying shoulder rubs and eating wings in the VIP area on the second floor.

All dancers must remain 10 feet away from tables during performances, per an official with the office of county mayor carlos gimenez

Toronto's pride and joy has shouted out the famous strip club several times in songsmaking it a must for pop-culture strip-club connoisseurs. The club's two floors separate the general-admission guests from the VIP clientele, but regulars here know the vibes on the first floor are unmatched.

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Best of Miami. Cristina Jerome January 30, am. Miami remains well endowed when it comes to the bare essentials. Facebook Twitter. I Support Local Community Journalism.

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Support the independent voice of Miami and help keep the future of New Times free. Bellas Cabaret 85 SE 14th St. Photo courtesy of Damion Mckenzie. G5ive Miami NW th St. Photo courtesy of Gold Rush Cabaret. Gold Rush Cabaret Biscayne Blvd. The Office NE rd St. Shadow Cabaret 66 E. Cristina Jerome is a freelance music writer and event producer based in South Florida. Follow her work on RnBae.

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